He wanted me to know he is alive, human flesh and bone. I was feeling frustrated when in my devoted love for God I was only loving what I had to think of as spirit. There was no human element to that love. My daily life was devoid of all but essential working contact with people. I was not so much lonely, but rather feeling lack of human interaction was unhealthy and damaging to my balanced spiritual life. I was lying in bed one night thinking about it. I suddenly felt the strength to earnestly ask God for human contact with Jesus, alive from the dead. It was pitch black dark. I put my hand behind the head of my bed, beyond my head position. I felt a man standing there. No doubt at all. I instantly had immense peace and fell asleep. I knew without any doubt at all it was Jesus alive and human. It must have been, I think, some time around the late 1990s or early 2000s when this happened. I went many decades never telling anyone. Eventually I told someone, only one person. A while later someone else told me that this person I had told had themselves asked to reach out to touch Jesus and he had let them do so. I do not know if it was true, but find it hard to think they could make it up. Why make up something that makes some think you are mad. I did not make up this story, and I know this. It happened. Another similar occasion happened with someone I know in circumstances by which I know with certainty it was true. Jesus stands by people’s side at night. Scripture said he did this to Paul the Apostle too, to give him strength. I can believe it so well, now from personal experience. He does do that. Yet now it is two thousand years since his resurrection and ascension to the Father. Now it is clear he is with the Father still today and living as very spiritual yet in a body, able to go where the Father sends him to go, even past closed doors, able to do what God who sends him wills that he do. I did not know this from any writings or testimonies but now I know it from experience by grace. “Ask”, he told his disciples, “that your joy may be full.”
